Sunday, October 24, 2010

Petticoat Memories - Chapter 1: An Angry Little Boy

Childhood was a confusing time. I don’t remember growing like a weed, I just grew. Perhaps that was the problem - I didn’t have a lot of instruction - but often was punished for my deviations in behavior. Instead of a steady boat ride down the river of life, I was an untrained driver in a speedboat, going any which way with my emotions, and this often caused problems with my parents. They often responded with quick and furious physical punishment, which I soon forgot hours after I received it, and I would return to my erratic ways.

My parents were too busy to raise me, and they didn’t seem to notice this until a visiting friend came over and witnessed one of my tantrums. My mom bought me a new lunch box, which I did not like.

“I don’t like it, I’m not using it!”

“Honey, we can’t take it back, you’ll just have to use this one, I’m sorry.”

As I argued, my frustration grew to anger. I knew I shouldn’t smash the lunch box, especially in front of company, but as I yelled, something in my inhibition gave way and my fists came down again and again, destroying it. I looked down at the tangle of metal, and knew I would be in trouble. I dreaded my punishment, but I always took it knowing that things would start anew – that was the routine. I did not know that my mother was probably embarrassed immensely in front of her friend.

Instead of judging, mother’s friend simply had a suggestion.

“There’s a lady – she lives in the country – who might be able to help with this problem. She worked with Emmanuelle’s son, and now he’s a perfect angel. If you’re open-minded, it just might work.”

The two ladies talked for hours, and as I unknowingly played in the other room, my fate had been sealed. That night, I was told that I was being sent away. The sheer horror of it, the feeling of abandonment I felt, made me cry and plead.

“I’ll be good; I promise! Please don’t send me away!”

“Chris, this is what’s best for you…for all of us. You’ll get used to it, you’ll see. And we’re not abandoning you; we’ll see you every weekend.”

I went through several bouts of emotions ranging from anger to silent sulking, however her mind was made up, and I was soon on my way out the door.

No comments:

Post a Comment